Good Leaders: What makes your heart swell?

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This weekend we said goodbye to my father, Ronald Arlis Batz. He died in the gentle arms of the Veterans Administration Hospital in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

“Pops” was a charming, intense and ornery man who put his full heart into everything he did. His impending death, cremation, and funeral made for a really hard week. Awesome and grueling all at once. Now, several days removed, my heart swells with love, appreciation and relief.

He shaped his legacy as a gentle, innovative veterinarian who took care of pets in their homes via Batz Mobile Pet Clinic. He was a diagnostic wizard with calm and steady hands. He loved his family, music, beer, parties, working with his hands and laughing at his own jokes. All three of his children are entrepreneurs and his grandchildren are all ornery, too.

Finally at rest

“It’s complicated,” was the theme of the memorial service, as beautifully reported by my youngest sister, Liesl. For many years we all walked on eggshells, trying to keep the family together through my father’s mental illness. Liesl was his faithful, mentally tough legal guardian.

“He was cursed by the triple-whammy,” my sister Heidi said with tearful courage. Dad lived with severe Bi-Polar Disorder, and coped with chronic pain from a spine-damaging automobile accident he suffered in his twenties. And, as a veterinarian, he believed he could diagnose his own aches and pains better than any of his physicians. With a lifetime of continuous experimentation, it’s no wonder his medications were never quite right.

Celebration and relief

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My sisters assembled a group of professional musicians who showered mourners with Dixieland jazz and a soulful/country mix. A choir of his kids and grandkids sang as best we could with lumps in our throats.

Everyone who loved my dad secretly hoped he would mellow with age. But sometimes Mother Nature is cruel. With each passing day he became more and more frustrated with the injustice of his disease. He knew no other way than to freely express his anger, which pushed away friends and family. He found very little joy in everyday living.

But none of that mattered as we prayerfully absorbed the most poignant moment: the trumpet played Taps, as is done in all military funerals. And I stood in honor as retired officer Tom, from the VFW, presented me with the United States flag that was my father’s final suit of honor.

Goodness ahead

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So now, I’m working through the exhaustion that comes from the healing waters of our tears. I am resilient; after all, I received his whole-heartedness and intensity. I am following his example as an entrepreneur…I love music, parties and beer. I love my family without anger, and I pledged in that moment to honor the Batz family name with goodness.

Good leaders let go of the pain and heartache from injustice to find the goodness in everything. And they let their hearts swell with love and pride for goodness sake.

If you are moved to action, we established a memorial fund for Ronald Arlis Batz:

Volunteer Services of the Sioux Falls Veterans Administration Hospital: PO BOX 5046, Sioux Falls, SD 57117-5046.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]