What makes you feel wimpy?

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How often do the words ‘weak, ineffective and timid’ describe how you feel? When we feel wimpy, we need to stick together.

How often do the words: weak, ineffective and timid describe how you feel about yourself? Webster uses that combination to describe the term “wimp.”  It’s OK.  In the spirit of authentic leadership…it’s not wimpy to admit every once in a blue moon, we all feel like a wimp.

It has been a helluva month for me: three trips to the Emergency Room with mysterious allergic reactions have left me feeling weak, ineffective and timid. The doctors tell me this stuff happens to people ‘my age’…and 50% of the time they never figure out why. Seriously?  We can split an atom, land the Space Shuttle back on earth and find Osama Bin Laden…but we can’t figure out why my tongue swelled, my throat closed, hives attacked my lower half and my face ballooned like a chimpanzee. I looked like King Louie in The Jungle Book.

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Yep, that’s me. Looking like King Louie in The Jungle Book…after the third Emergency Room visit in a week.

Five sets of steroids didn’t solve the mystery…and the cocktail of pharmaceuticals left my bio systems in shock. I felt so weak, ineffective and timid,  I actually accepted a friend’s offer to rake our lawn, winterize our mower and clean out the garage.  I was simply too tired to do my chores.

As an owner/operator private business entrepreneur, I feel the plight of anyone self employed who becomes disabled.  It’s scary to cancel client meetings…and in the back of an ambulance it’s natural to wonder if you paid the recent disability or life insurance premiums. Is that wimpy?

But, alas…CaringBridge is filled with people who are really suffering. I’m glad I’m not one of them. It’s actually no big deal that I have to live on edge for awhile, wondering if every scratch and bump is another emergency room trip waiting to happen. It’s not cancer. I didn’t suffer a stroke or a heart attack. And there’s good news: at least I know Epi Pens work for me when I need them.

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Meeting two day-old Jacob Robert Jungbluth was good medicine for me. His father Steven is my nephew.

Thanksgiving could not have come at a better time….there were so many reasons for me to feel better.  And to think beyond myself.  We hosted both sides of our family for the big feast: 26 people.  Well, actually 27 people…but one of them was still in the womb.  My nephew Steven and his wife Tonya left the celebration Thursday and went into labor Friday morning.  I was overjoyed to be visiting the hospital for someone else! Jacob Robert Jungbluth was the main attraction between football games and shopping trips.

(To prove there is humor in everything: see how large Steven is in this picture?  He was the first baby I remember holding…almost 31 years ago!)

Looking ahead, I have appointments to see two more specialists: the first one this Friday. And more rest.  The doctor’s orders are to seriously cut back on my schedule: only essential client engagements for now.  My discretionary time needs to be channeled into recuperation. That’s not easy for me.  But I’m determined to drive out the wimps.

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Funny girl.  Anna at home mocking my King Louie impersonation. Funny girl.

Funny girl. Anna at home mocking my King Louie impersonation. Funny girl.

Where’s the silver lining?  My daughter Anna was also home with Mono for a few days…so we bonded as we wallowed in our wimpiness. She’s good at keeping my spirits light.  Heavens to goodness: Melinda is proving once again she deserves sainthood.  She prepped two turkeys (no, not Anna and me) and transformed the house for Thanksgiving…all while nursing a couple of wimps.  I’m grateful I married a miracle worker.

Good leaders embrace the craziness of life, no matter how much adversity or uncertainty.  And they aren’t afraid to admit they feel wimpy every once in a blue moon.

Now I need to rest again – I’m on the road this week, with essential client obligations.  I’m so lucky I love my work. Drop me a note and share what makes you feel wimpy. We wimps need to stick together.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

6 Comments

  1. Karen Lindsey on November 28, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    Hey, Paul – I had at least 2 trips to the ER because my face around my eyese was so swollen that you couldn’t see the bridge of my nose…in between there were trips to the optholmologist, the dermatologist and I can’t remember who else…but, it was my kids’ orthodontist who mentioned that he had had a similar allergic reaction which sent him to a local allergy specialist. I went.  Turns out I was allergic to Vidal Sassoon shampoo.  Since it was on my pillow, it was a cyclical problem…You’ll probably get other stories…Prayer lifted up comes down in blessings!
    karen



  2. Karen Lindsey on November 28, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    Hey, Paul – I had at least 2 trips to the ER because my face around my eyese was so swollen that you couldn’t see the bridge of my nose…in between there were trips to the optholmologist, the dermatologist and I can’t remember who else…but, it was my kids’ orthodontist who mentioned that he had had a similar allergic reaction which sent him to a local allergy specialist. I went.  Turns out I was allergic to Vidal Sassoon shampoo.  Since it was on my pillow, it was a cyclical problem…You’ll probably get other stories…Prayer lifted up comes down in blessings!
    karen



  3. Karen Lindsey on November 28, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    Hey, Paul – I had at least 2 trips to the ER because my face around my eyese was so swollen that you couldn’t see the bridge of my nose…in between there were trips to the optholmologist, the dermatologist and I can’t remember who else…but, it was my kids’ orthodontist who mentioned that he had had a similar allergic reaction which sent him to a local allergy specialist. I went.  Turns out I was allergic to Vidal Sassoon shampoo.  Since it was on my pillow, it was a cyclical problem…You’ll probably get other stories…Prayer lifted up comes down in blessings!
    karen



  4. How’s your health these days? | Paul Batz on November 5, 2013 at 5:21 am

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